Last week there was an awakening in the blogging community and ironically, because I’ve been away dealing with some personal issues I almost missed it. I've been feeling the need to open up to you for a while now, so even though I was slow on the uptake I think this was the universe sending me a sign to go for it. It’s taken me some time to think through, and I hope you’ll consider reading and sharing your thoughts.
It began with a post, titled "Things I’m Afraid to Tell You", inspired by Jess of Make Under My Life and initiated as a project by Ez of Creature Comforts. I’ve been reading other blogger's posts as time allows and copied down a few thoughts that resonated with me personally:
Instead of visiting a blog and feeling inspired, we quite often leave feeling less than, and like our life can never really match up to what we see. – ez, creature comforts
Blogging lately has gotten very pretty, and I’m not against pretty at all, but I kind of miss the funk, the artlessness it used to have before it became a business. – rena tom
I’m panicked at the thought of failing. – stacy, hello cupcake
I sometimes tire of writing about art/design/visual inspiration, because I fear I’m contributing to a false sense of reality. – erin, design for mankind
I only realized just recently though that blogging has begun to make me doubt what I have, and the way I live. – ez, creature comforts
It all comes back to something I've been unable to resolve within myself… the sense that in this ever more crowded space, I’m no longer able to measure up. There are so many brilliant, beautiful design blogs out there and I find myself making excuses that my own could be better/smarter/prettier if only I had more time. But let's face facts... I'm a full time working mother. I don't have more time and that's not likely to change any time soon. So I’ve been battling with an internal struggle… is it worth continuing to pursue something that I don’t have the time and energy to commit to with my whole heart?
And so, the thing I’ve been afraid to tell you is this… I don’t want to be a 'blogger' anymore. What used to be a source of excitement and creative inspiration now feels like a full time job, and it’s pulling me away from my family, my work and lately even the joy of living in the moment.
I’ve been maintaining this self imposed pressure to keep up and I'm growing tired of it all. With the trends, with social media, with who got the latest book deal and who just came out with the best party, DiY, new business, online magazine, etc. I mean no offense by this truly. I strongly believe that everyone deserves to share and celebrate their own success. But right now my priorities need to shift, and if I’m being honest my perspective does too.
I'm realizing that I need to be more present in my life, which also means acknowledging that I can’t do everything. What I’d really like is to have more time for the things that drew me into blogging in the first place…. designing, party planning, crafting and baking. And these things I will happily continue to share with you.
A while back I opened an Esty shop to house my invitation designs (which is another thing I’ve been afraid to tell you because it’s never felt ‘ready’). Maybe I’ll find the time to spruce it up and announce a Grand Opening one of these days. You haven’t seen the last of me guys… I can assure you there is more to come. But for now at least, I've made a decision that CAKE. is going to become a place to celebrate my own work, posted on my own terms. And I can’t begin to tell you how cathartic it feels to say that out loud.
I sincerely hope you’ll stick with me, and pop by occasionally to say hello. And should you happen have your own awakening and decide to share it with the world at large, please let me know so I can support you in turn. Thank you friends… for reading, for indulging me… for everything. Here's to more good things on the horizon for us all.
To read more about this project, please visit this post as well as it's links to other bloggers.